[back to school]

it felt really weird going back to school today.
it felt so unreal somehow.
like a dream.
an unhappy dream that i can't control.
sigh.
i think i just dont wanna go back to school.
back to reality.

if only i can have my holidays again,
there would be a few things which i might wanna make changes to.
like, i would've stayed at my aunt's house longer,
i would've worked longer hours,
i would've given alicia intensive tuition sessions.

people say that you should not have 'if only's in your life
because we cannot go back in time
to change what has happened.
there's no use crying over spilt milk.
it makes sense to me
but i'm not going to follow it.
cos sometimes you can reflect
and learn stuff from your 'if only's
like what i'm doing now.

which reminds me.
for the whole of my holidays, i did not have a shopping spree
nor watch a single movie.
butbutbut,
my hols are not empty days
spent in front of the com or tv or sleeping.
working has to be the bestest best part of it.
so, when i look back at my life a few years later,
at least year 2006 is colourful;
at least there are nice memories
and, painful or not,
valuable lessons learnt.